My kids a bully, what should I do?

You wake up, your day is going great and then the phone rings.  It’s your child’s principal and he needs to see you immediately.  It seems, that there has been a problem at school. Worried thoughts grab ahold of you and begin to squeeze you into a panic.  Once at school, you pull the doors open and the receptionist points.  Your eyes follow her long arm, down to her finger tips and there sitting fifty feet away is your child in the principals office, starring back at you.  Momentarily you stop. The look on your child’s face, shifts your thoughts from worry to concern.  The principal opens the office door.  You take a deep breath and walk in.  You try to hold back the tears from the story that unfolds before you; but they escape, slowly rolling down your check and splashing to the floor below.  You just found out that you your child is a bully.  

More people are finding out that their children are bullies, due to the “NO TOLERANCE” polices schools across America are putting into effect.  We all hear sad stories about another child taking their life, because they were bullied for being a little different from their counterparts, but it doesn’t have to be this way.  Your child can change and here are a few tips to help you understand their behavior from www.kidshealth.org: 

• Some kids feel insecure and bullying makes them feel important and popular.
• Some kids just think it is acceptable to pick on kids who are different.
• It could stem from an ongoing pattern of aggressive behavior.
• They may not have the skills need to get along with others.
• Some kids copy behaviors they see at home.

Helping them stop this begins with letting them know that bullying is unacceptable and that there will be serious consequences if their actions don’t change.  Rose Kivi at www.livestrong.com suggests these steps to stop your child from being a bully:

• Talk to your child about his behavior - Find out what is causing them to act this way.
• Educate your child about the affects bullying has on the victim.
• Try a little role-playing to teach your child how to interact with others.
• Avoid violent punishment, as this could increase bullying behavior.
• Make punishment fit the crime (ex: bully by internet - take away internet).
• Praise them for good behavior.
• Set a good example for your child.
• Spend time with your child each day.
• Supervise your child’s activities and intervene when bullying behavior starts.
• Work closely with teachers, parents and counselors.
• Consider a professional therapist.

If you find out your child is a bully, take the appropriate steps to stop this behavior.  Not only will you make their life better, but you just might end up saving the life of someone else.