Kids are faced with a variety of situations day in and day out, that can overload their brain with thoughts of fear, doubt and failure. Once these negative thoughts enter the mind, the brain does whatever it can to help feed these thoughts. In essence, you’ve just turned your brain into an all-you-can-eat buffet of negativity and you can’t stop eating. Your brain keeps serving up stress and anxiety and you have no idea how to cope with what’s been put down before you, so you keep eating it up and believing what you think. You try to remain calm, but it’s no use you are so full of negativity that you are no longer in the “here and now.” I define the “here and now” as focusing on the current task at hand and not allowing your focus to be pulled away from that task.
In a nutshell, what we think on the inside, becomes who we are the outside. Here’s how it works. Your child is taking a test that they have studied for over the past two days. They answer the first few questions without any problems and are feeling pretty good about themselves. Than the next few questions become difficult and they begin to doubt themselves. Even the fear of failing the test has now become a possibility for them. What they have just done is allowed their thoughts to take power over them. They begin to believe what they think and their brain reacts by creating synapses and neurons that help support their current thought process. They are no longer in the “here and now.” They are tumbling down the rabbit hole of negativity.
We can even look at it from a youth sports point of view. Your son loves to play soccer, and today his team faces their arch rivals. They have been practicing very hard and he can’t wait for the game to begin. The ref blows the whistle and your child plays his heart out. Twenty minutes into the game, the best player on the opposing team dribbles the ball straight at your son. He does his best to stop him, but the other kid moves the ball around him, shots and scores. In a matter of seconds, your son goes from feeling like the best player on the field, to the worst player on the field. He begins to doubt himself. His mind is flooded with thoughts of what his coach, parents and teammates are thinking. He is very disappointed in himself and begins to question his abilities. He is no longer in the “here and now.” Negativity has taken him out of the game and unless he knows how to deal with it, his game is over.
If we understand that our brain, determines how we feel, think and act; than we can develop methods to immediately crush the negativity when it creeps into our mind. Our thoughts can either help or hurt us. So how do we teach our children to battle these thought so they can stay in the “here and now.” One way is to quickly talk back to any negative thought that may surface by using a powerful word or phrase. Have your child come up with their own word or phrase. It has to be one that is filled with attitude and meaning. The moment they speak it, they have to believe it. My children use the phrase, “GAME ON.” Just saying these words gives them power. It causes them to grit their teeth and lets them know that they have the skill and confidence to face any opponent, test or obstacle. It fills them with attitude, gets them focused and returns them back to the “here and now.”
The three pound super computer inside your head, also known as the brain, is a mighty tool that should be trained just like any other part of your body. Weather your child is taking a test, playing in the big game or getting ready for a piano recital you need to teach them to overcome negative thoughts and emotions, with simple positive words and phrases. Don’t let negative thoughts have power over your children. Help your children control their negative thoughts and you give the power back to them. Remember, you are what you think. For more information on other topics pertaining to youth sports, coaching and parenting check out kidsandcoaching.blogspot.com.
Lonnie Horsey MS
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