Hi Guys,

I only share top of the line information from other contributors on my website.  These include
Dr. Patrick Cohn, Positive Coaching Alliance & American College of Sports Medicine.  If I re-post it here, you should be reading what these people/organizations have to say; because they are the leaders in the their industry.  Please click on the links above and check out everything they have to offer.

Here is another GREAT article form Dr. Patrick Cohn - I hope you enjoy!

How to Help Kids Be “Winning” Losers in Youth Sports

June 12, 2012 By Patrick Cohn Leave a Comment

How can you teach your kids to make the most out of losses? Lots of ways, says Frank J. Sileo, Ph.D, a psychologist with more than 16 years’ experience working with kids and families, and the author of “Sally Sore Loser:  A Story about Winning and Losing.”

First of all, you need to understand how important it is for your young athletes to make mistakes and lose—then learn from their experience, he says.

“We don’t adequately prepare kids for future losses and disappointment,” says Sileo.  If children never make mistakes, and never fail, they’re often devastated when, as adults, things don’t go their way.

For example, he says, “As adults, we don’t always get accepted to the college of our choice, we don’t always marry the fist person we fall in love with. We need to teach kids how to be good losers and what to learn from ‘We didn’t come in first that time,’” he says.

Too often, however, parents buy into our culture’s “We have to win at all costs” focus. Too often, parents think that if their children fail, they are failures themselves. So they try to prevent losses in their kids’ lives.

But it’s important to look at failure and losing in different ways.

“Failure is an opportunity to get your children to look at themselves,” says Sileo.

Playing sports is a great way to do just that and learn important life skills, says Sileo. Those skills include working hard, coping with losing, re-evaluating goals and continuing to persevere in the face of adversity.

“We are a culture of ‘Number One,’” Sileo says. “Kids need to accept losing. It helps build character and humility and perseverance and helps kids cope with losing in the future.”

To best help your kids with losses, you need to first of all be a good role model. That means you don’t want to yell from the sidelines, argue with the refs, or yell at the coach if your players aren’t getting enough playing time. If you have a problem with a coach or ref, you need to approach them politely, at the appropriate moment—not in the heat of the moment, Sileo says. What’s more, you should be as positive as possible with your sports kids.

“Teach them to improve their skills, play fairly, and have fun,” he says. And when they’re upset with losses, explain that everyone makes mistakes. Work with your young athletes to re-evaluate their goals and understand what went wrong and how to perform better next time.

Is there anything positive they can take away from their losses? For example, maybe your kids learned about a weakness that wasn’t obvious, and now know they need to work on this weakness. Maybe they connected with team-mates in ways they hadn’t connected with them before. These are the “wins” you can find in losses.