Feature Mental Game Article
How to Refocus After Losses
By Patrick J. Cohn, Ph.D. 

One of the hardest things for any athlete to do is to refocus after a tough loss or defeat. What makes it so hard to cope with losing? First, I think very competitive athletes hate to lose. They obviously love to win, but hate the feeling when they lose. They expect to win and can take defeat personally. 

If you look at your past track record, do you think more about the tough losses or do you think about the victories and the small wins you’ve had? 

In some sports, it’s hard to win a lot. Take golf, for example, you have to beat another 144 guys or gals to win. That’s a tough job. However, in baseball, it’s much easier to come come out of the weekend series with at least one win. 

In today’s world, I find that many athletes have a short memory for their successes and tend to dwell more on their loses. The net affect: You lose confidence when you dwell on loses because you spend more time thinking about defeat and mistakes instead of past success. 

Let’s face it… Confidence comes from past success and not past losses. But if you spend too much time dwelling on losing and why you lost, your confidence will suffer. (Parents take note: Don’t drill your kids on why they lost.) 

This week, Maria Sharapova played her way in the 2012 US Open quarterfinals for the first time since winning the tournament in 2006. 

Sharapova has had an up and down career in tennis--mostly due to a major shoulder injury that derailed her career for a few years. But she’s back on top of her game and winning. She is known as one of the most mentally tough players on the women’s tennis tour. She treats every point as if it’s match point. 

In her recent match, she was trailing in the final set against Nadia Petrova when a rain delay stopped the match. She rallied and won the match against Petrova 6-1, 4-6, 6-4 on Sunday night. She never gives up. “I always think that, no matter how you start the match, it's always how you finish. Whether it's an hour or whether it's three hours that you're out there, I don't want to give up until the last point," Sharapova said. 

How does Sharapova let go of past losses in her career? She does not dwell on defeat. She assesses how to improve and moves forward with hard work. She becomes hungrier and more determined… “I don't like to look back at those [losses], especially a couple of them.  But, you know, every circumstance is different.  Every match you play you've got to bring your A game.  Obviously in those situations my opponents played a lot better.  They won the match.  There's a reason why they did.  But obviously those losses make you hungrier to come back and do better,” said Sharapova. 

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Top athletes know they must learn from their mistakes or poor performances so they can improve, which leads to improved confidence and renewed commitment. They don’t become discouraged or feel helpless when they lose. 

The strength of your mental game has everything to do with the level of your confidence. You want to do everything in your power to grow your confidence and be your own best friend after you get off the court, field, rink, or course. 

But far too many athletes today lose valuable confidence after losing because they dwell on past mistakes (or a loss) and think they are not good enough. Unfortunately, these athletes are too self-critical and judgmental because this is the way they were treated by coaches, parents, and friends. 

Three Tips to Refocus After Losses 

1. Assess your performance, not the mistakes. It’s easy to pick on yourself after a game or performance (“I stunk it up today”), but that does not help confidence and your future motivation to train. First, you want to be objective about how you view your performance (instead of subjective). When athletes are subjective, the emotions take over, such as frustration and anger, and that’s when you can be the most self-critical. 

2. Learn and grow or improve from loses. I am a believer in using your mistakes (or losses) to help you improve for the future. Once again, you want to be objective here. You want to assess your game statistics like a reporter would. Assessing your statistics can help you decide what you need to work on in the next practice or two to improve those weaker areas of your performance. This can only help give you confidence going into the next competition knowing you have worked hard to improve areas that will help you become a better performer. 

3. Focus on how to improve, not what’s missing. Instead of thinking about all the reasons you failed or messed up, you should instead focus on what you want to improve for the next performance or in next week’s practice. This requires objectivity as discussed earlier. You can use statistics, for example. to help you focus on how to improve and dedicate yourself to better performances in the future.
Don’t let a dark cloud hang over your head because because of past losses. Remind yourself of the great plays, shots, or routines you have performed. Keep in mind that self-confidence comes from countless practices and games you have had in sports over years of participation. “I think looking at the bigger picture is the only way to look at it.  I think if you look at it in a negative perspective, it's pretty tough,” said Maria Sharapova.