Youth, Drugs & Alcohol

As parents, we hope we are raising our children to be strong enough to fight the temptations of drugs and alcohol.  Temptations that begin to haunt our children, as early as Junior High School.  As they get older, these issues seem to rear their ugly head on a more frequent basis.  If you think this isn’t happening at your kids school or with your children, than you are sadly mistaken.  It’s time to wake up!  Drugs and alcohol are everywhere.  Don’t sit by and let your child face these temptations alone.  Get involved, educate yourself and your children about the effects of drugs and alcohol and teach them how to deal with peer pressure.  The following sites have tons of information and resources available for everyone.

Stop Underage Drinking: www.stopalcoholabuse.gov

The Cool Spot: www.thecoolspot.gov

Too Smart To Start: www.toosmarttostart.samhsa.gov

Kids Health: www.kidshealth.org

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America: www.drugfree.org

The information on these sites provides parents and children with the facts, signs and symptoms of alcohol and drug abuse, ways to deal with peer pressure, real life scenarios and solutions and good practices and methods on how too steer clear of these substances.

Here are some quick facts for you:

• Alcohol has become one of the most widely used substances on the planet.  Amongst teens it is used more than illicit drugs and tobacco.
• Marijuana is the most commonly used drug amongst children.
• Prescription and Over the Counter drugs such as Ritalin, Oxycontin, Xanax and other OTC medications has increased and is easily obtained via the internet, your own home and at local stores.  If you think these forms of drugs are safer, you are sadly mistaken.  Addiction and possible death are waiting patiently around the corner.

With the many tools available out there, there is no need for excuses.  One only needs to educate themselves to become knowledgeable in the war against drugs and alcohol.  Doing so can help you help your child fight the temptations they currently face or will one day soon be facing.  It can also give you the information to understand, identify and aid a child who has already ventured down this ugly path.  Follow the four B’s of drug an alcohol prevention:  Be Alert, Be Informed, Be Prepared and Be There for your child when they need you the most.  Go to www.kidsandcoaching.blogspot.com to find more about kids, coaching and parenting.  

The forgotten element of coaching

Week after week, millions of coaches across the world are teaching young athletes how to play the game. In all sports, coaches are instructing their athletes on how to kick, catch, throw, swing or do whatever other skill is necessary to help them compete in their sport of choice.  They teach technical skills, tactical skills and conditioning, but fail to incorporate one of the most important elements of an athletes development, mental toughness.

In her book, “Bringing Your A Game,” Jennifer L. Etnier, PhD defines mental toughness as, “Characteristics of a person who is able to commit day in and day out to training for excellence and who is able to perform at the top of his or her game in the face of stress, distraction, and even bad luck.”  In the pressure packed world of sports, athletes young and old, are in dire need of this mental training. In his book, “Mind Gym,” Gary Mack emphasizes that through quality instruction, coaches can teach their athletes these seven characteristics of mental toughness that will help them perform on and off the field:    

Competitive: Finding a way to win.

Confident: Having a can-do attitude and the belief that you can handle any situation.

Control: Controlling your behavior and emotions on and off the field.

Committed: Staying highly motivated and focusing on achieving your goals.

Composure: Learning how to deal with adversity.

Courage: Willing to take a risk.

Consistency: No excuses no matter how you feel.

Training your mind, is just as important as training your body.  As a coach, the choice is yours in how you teach these seven characteristics to your athletes.  By incorporating them into your training regime, you are equipping athletes with tools necessary to succeed.  Sites such as www.mentaltoughnesstrainer.com and www.nays.org can help you gain the skills necessary to become a great coach.  We are not here just to teach kids how to play a game.  Our responsibility as coaches lie deeper if we want to develop athletes to their full potential.  Teach a kid how to face their fears, achieve their goals, maintain a positive attitude and deal with adversity; and you develop an athlete who is successful on and off the field.  Now that is something to be proud of.  For more on kids and coaching go to www.kidsandcoaching.blogspot.com

My kids a bully, what should I do?

You wake up, your day is going great and then the phone rings.  It’s your child’s principal and he needs to see you immediately.  It seems, that there has been a problem at school. Worried thoughts grab ahold of you and begin to squeeze you into a panic.  Once at school, you pull the doors open and the receptionist points.  Your eyes follow her long arm, down to her finger tips and there sitting fifty feet away is your child in the principals office, starring back at you.  Momentarily you stop. The look on your child’s face, shifts your thoughts from worry to concern.  The principal opens the office door.  You take a deep breath and walk in.  You try to hold back the tears from the story that unfolds before you; but they escape, slowly rolling down your check and splashing to the floor below.  You just found out that you your child is a bully.  

More people are finding out that their children are bullies, due to the “NO TOLERANCE” polices schools across America are putting into effect.  We all hear sad stories about another child taking their life, because they were bullied for being a little different from their counterparts, but it doesn’t have to be this way.  Your child can change and here are a few tips to help you understand their behavior from www.kidshealth.org: 

• Some kids feel insecure and bullying makes them feel important and popular.
• Some kids just think it is acceptable to pick on kids who are different.
• It could stem from an ongoing pattern of aggressive behavior.
• They may not have the skills need to get along with others.
• Some kids copy behaviors they see at home.

Helping them stop this begins with letting them know that bullying is unacceptable and that there will be serious consequences if their actions don’t change.  Rose Kivi at www.livestrong.com suggests these steps to stop your child from being a bully:

• Talk to your child about his behavior - Find out what is causing them to act this way.
• Educate your child about the affects bullying has on the victim.
• Try a little role-playing to teach your child how to interact with others.
• Avoid violent punishment, as this could increase bullying behavior.
• Make punishment fit the crime (ex: bully by internet - take away internet).
• Praise them for good behavior.
• Set a good example for your child.
• Spend time with your child each day.
• Supervise your child’s activities and intervene when bullying behavior starts.
• Work closely with teachers, parents and counselors.
• Consider a professional therapist.

If you find out your child is a bully, take the appropriate steps to stop this behavior.  Not only will you make their life better, but you just might end up saving the life of someone else.  

Tales from the sideline

It was not until I became a coach, that I truly started to understand the effect sports can have on children. At practice one day after a bad loss, I remember asking my team what scared them the most. Hands flew in the air, as each one of them was eager to shout out their answer. I honestly could not believe what I heard next. It wasn’t their opponents they feared the most, it was the car ride home and what their parents were going to say to them after the game. After years of watching my children play, I never realized that I was part of the problem. I only wanted to tell them what they were doing wrong, to help them grow as an athlete. That day, everything changed for me. For young athletes, a parents understanding and approval, can make or break an athlete. Parents can choose to cheer their kids on and enjoy watching them play, or they can make it so their kids live in fear of the sports they play. Imagine this, you step onto the field ready to play; then your mind is suddenly flooded with fears of failure, embarrassment and intimidation. You feel like throwing up.You cannot focus, and the thought of letting your teammates down scares the hell out of you. You can feel your every move being judged from the sideline. People are screaming at you, telling you what you should and should not do; while you are playing. It becomes impossible to focus on the game. Now imagine that you are only 10 years old and it is your parent’s making you feel this way. You know what comes after the game. Whether you win or lose, it is the car ride home you fear the most. The “back seat beat-down.” The time when mom and dad inform you of everything you did wrong. You want to scream back at them, “you never even played the game,” but you do not. You sit listening, as they suck out any enjoyment or pride you experienced from the game. For a child, the fear of living up to their parent’s expectations in sports can have a terrible effect on their psyche. Their greatest advocates have become their biggest obstacles.We are all guilty of the backseat beat-down. As parent’s, It’s time to take a different approach. What if we build them up instead of breaking them down? What if we flood them with hope, instead of drowning them in fear? The game is hard enough. Let them love the sport and the time you spend together. Be proud of what your child is doing.Support, love and encourage everything they do. Cheer your heart out and let them know that you are there biggest fan. Do this and you will see the champion within your child emerge. The ball is in your court mom and dad. Are you ready to play?